3 Words of Guilt
by k.eternal
Summary: A lot of random chaos, apparently the result of what happens when you can only post 3 words at a time. Very weird stuff, a lot of incoherence, but it's kinda funny. There's a bit of sick stuff that goes on so it's rated R just in case...
1. 3 Words of Guilt

3 Words of Guilt  
  
This fanfic the result of a strange thread/experiment on the GameFAQs board which had very odd results, but they're probably a higher quality than some other fanfics out there, which is scary.  
  
...Just know that a lot of the weirdness isn't my fault, though some of it probably is...  
  
If you want to know more just look at the thread with this title to see the original, even more senseless form of this fic.  
  
DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I don't own Guilty Gear and neither do any of the people on the GameFAQs board, unless they're secretly Daisuke.  
  
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One day, May hit Slayer with a killer whale and ate salami, kissing the dust while she left. Then Johnny said "What you doing." May said "Don't mind me." Johnny was concerned, so he made Dizzy cook a roasted hippopotamus that made him choke rather violently. So she punched him off his chair, out the window, and off the ship, but he got stuck. And so he yelled for help.  
  
Hearing his cries, Testament showed up, letting him fall into the ocean. A shark came, and it bit his smelly boot, which tasted bad. But just then: Enter Sol Badguy. And he killed the hungry shark. And Johnny was shaking Sol's hand. So Sol said "Give me Dizzy, before I kill ya." Then Johnny replied, "Who is May?" Sol got pissed. "DIZZZZZZYYYY!!! NOT MAY!" and gun flamed Johnny to death. As Johnny died, he said to Dizzy, "Run, or I'll kick your shin really hard." But Sol was already kicking it. Dizzy got hurt, but Testament arrived, and he tried to undress Millia, who appeared suddenly for no reason. Sol and Dizzy started to fight, and Dizzy won. Sol cried lots. So did Millia, because Testament took all her clothes.  
  
Sol got up, but Dizzy had written yaoi fanfiction. She ate beef and asked May, "Like more SolxKy?" Ky read it, and went to Dizzy, who kicked him. He said, "I'M GIRLY NOT MANLY!" Then Robo Ky found some drugs and showed up for clone sex. He ended up screwing Dizzy instead, so Sol smashed his head in, and then laughed so hard that Robo Ky exploded. Suddenly, Raoh appeared with Mr. T. Fonzey on a date from Euro Disney. Raoh then said "ma ma ma," and pimp smacked Sol multiple times, and he screamed "WISHBONE TEH DOG!!!!!!!111" Obviously insane, Raoh slammed his head and exploded.  
  
Sol then grabbed Ky and challenged him to a checkers game, and kicked his candy ass. Ky then served Roasted Kittens, but had no tea cups, because Sol smashed them with his genitalia. Sol laughed as Chipp tripped, breaking his head, and landing on Baiken's claw which impaled you-know-what. Meanwhile, May was eating a pancake, only to look and see that Dizzy and Johnny were eating waffles. May got jealous and whipped out Jam to cook fried chicken rice and smash Johnny with a mallet. Suddenly Justice killed Ky because Ky's sacred edge killed his goldfish.  
  
Justice turned into a giant waffle so Sol blacked out, waking up in his undies in I-No's bedroom. He screamed, seeing Dizzy yuri-ing with stupid little Millia. Sol attacked Millia with tuna cans and ate her. But he choked. Justice wasn't happy and drowned Mayship because he hadn't paid his bills since he got Fred Sanford to kiss his ass softly and gingerly. Zappa and S-ko were "having fun" until Faust saw Dizzy looking sad and asked her "Want a penny?" Dizzy replied, "Did you just eat some tacos?" He nodded, saying, "Yeah, Taco Bell." Suddenly Jam killed Chipp for being a part of the group "Enuff Zanuff". Then I-No said "1337 teh shineget!!!!1111!!0ne11!!11111" and promptly died. Potemkin cursed because he is HUUUUUUGE!!!! Bringing in more fuzzy wuzzy bunnies to choke Sol and Jam's stew.  
  
Being slapped silly, Zappa screamed at the madness that ensued when Sadako bit Sol in the arse. Zappa grabbed Bridget and chucked him out the window, into a sewer. However, Bridget got aroused and stayed and Faust saw I-No stripping for George W. Bush, which led to dirty sex with Bridget.  
  
Elsewhere, Axl was in bondage to I-No. Without his chains, he couldn't fight, so Faust interrupted, killing I-No with butt pokeage and licking Axl. But then Zappa held his manhood as Sadako tried to cut it. Faust noticed and "healed" Zappa's cut using his scalpel. Jam lost her oolong can on Chinese New Year being really drunk. Sol killed Faust with Jam's drink container can, but it seems Sol stole it.  
  
Bridget came out, eating popsicles from the Shuusen Kanrikyoku. Then Testament said, "That popsicle is... from the popsicle man!" Bridget laughed evilly but choked when the popsicle stick in his throat suddenly exploded in a white mess killing him and leaving Roger in FREEDOM!!! Roger rampaged and suddenly turned into Shadow EX Justice and Gamma Rayed George W. Bush. Excel came into the story, attacking Justice with a rotted asparagus stalk. Thus from Robo Ky was born Nabeshin, who shot secret organization ACROSS. The will of the universe, Daisuke Almighty stated: "Guilty Gear is the best dang game ever made." Daisuke then made the end of the GG SERIES! But he really is a SHE, and exploded messily with the end. 


	2. 3 Words of Guilt X

3 Words of Guilt X  
  
There seem to be more odd references to prescription meds, which is weird, but that's inconsequential, I suppose.  
  
DISCLAIMER: The same disclaimer applies to this one that applied to the other one, which is that I don't own this stuff and they don't either. "They" is the GameFAQs people, unless one of them is Daisuke. I suspect skuldnoshinpu.  
  
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One day Testament wrote a letter to Faust for a Prozac refill because he was suffering from depression. Faust recommended that he marry Dizzy while playing checkers. So he did, only to find that he liked cheese over Dizzy's ass but it sucked to eat it.  
  
Then May made Krispy Kreme Donuts with Seroquel inside so she puked on the table. It was messy. Then Johnny came and walked away, forgetting his Allegra, which Testament mistook for Viagra. He screamed loudly, saying "I'm still limp!!!" Dizzy came and smacked his head with Venom's stick. She ate steroids and hugged Testament, CRUSHING HIS BALLS!!!!!!! Testament whimpered, calling for backup.   
  
Eddie gave May Ritalin. She took it and ate burgers by the barrelful while playing Monopoly with Justice. April shagged May but May smacked April because of impotence. Suddenly April detonated the May Ship, killing the crew, while dancing the Macarena.   
  
Johnny kissed Potemkin because he lost all his women. Zappa saw, so he blackmailed them, demanding that Oxyclean and Orangeclean be given life via witchcraft. But Johnny couldn't yank his nipples so he sang the Ketchup song which he devoted to Bridget.   
  
Millia despised it more than Zoloft, so Justice danced as ferrets chewed the platinum burrito. But then Justice lost his mojo, so Ky came and died horribly. Meanwhile, Venom and Zato were watching a Paxil commercial for little kids and were shocked by lightning bolts. Millia laughed, as they needed Aleve, so she flew to Slayer's Keep. Slayer fired missiles at Botox parties with Ruby Enchiladas and some other pieces of Reese's topped with Baiken's special cream filling. She then dyed her hair red, blue, green, and purple. She really looked like Zappa now.   
  
Then Faust ate a sausage that was actually Sol's crotch with buttered pecans and choked on Fuenken and his salty semen. Sol got pissed because Ky blew balloons for May while being dead because he blows. Meanwhile, Dizzy took Sol's pants. She wore them because Chipp wanted to taunt Testament. Zio slapped him painfully but he enjoyed it.   
  
Testament bought a transmogrifier and zapped Ky and Sol into gastropods, but Robo Ky made paper origami. Raven was horrified, so he puked on Dizzy's outfit and got slammed. Undine then slapped Necro while wondering why gas costs $1.80. But then she realized her nipples weren't showing, so she melted.   
  
Dizzy got scared of Chipp's scarf. She fell down, but Sol returned with Kliff who ate Sol's chocolate Count Chocula Cereal. Robo Ky kissed Kliff's chocolate covered Dizzy Plushie Toys, but The Man stole them all.   
  
Sol wanted chocolate, so he went after Kliff's chocolate covered butcher knife, which killed him because it cuts through steel like butter. Then Zappa demanded that Johnny give him May because S-Ko wanted some golden tacos. Johnny traded May for yummy beans.   
  
Meanwhile, Faust was attacked by Bridget and Fanny. Faust used slave May with spices to make a big enchilada and sang: "Macho Macho Man!" Then he poked May with a rusty anchor. Then suddenly out of nowhere Robo Ky suddenly kissed I-No for some spicy meatballs! I-No got pissed on by Potemkin and spat on Kuro Ky's grave, who is evil.   
  
Zappa resurrected Sol to eat Sadako's golden taco special which was poisoned!! Sol turned pink, so Slayer wanted him. Then Eddie said "Baiken rhymes with Hadoken." Then he inhaled some Advair and promptly exploded. Sephiroth swept up the remains of Chipp's Tylenol which were Paxil and everyone decided to kill Ky yet again. "Why kill I?" said Vicodin addicted Ky, who was spared from being castrated.   
  
Then suddenly, Gears drank some soda with Pepto Bismol, losing control of Faust's cannibalistic afro. Suddenly dolphins ate taco flavored Celexa. They kidnapped May, and the ransom was Bridget and Justice. Justice agreed if Bridget could be served for dinner with Kliff's chocolate Exlax candy bar. But Kliff didn't do the ritual of the chocolate, invoking the anger of many Gears, including EX Testament, who wanted a Chipp action figure complete with infamous one-liners delivered when you Find the Bee!   
  
Testament used the Daisuke gift coupon to call the one and only JOHNNY BRAVO! May dumped Johnny for stealing all her dolphins and her Yamada whale and selling them into slavery. Then Chipp brushed Millia's living hair, which cut his little toe off while Jam kicked Johnny to death. Anji saved him from bustin' nuts.   
  
Then Potemkin attacked and something exploded. Justice declared Human Extermination Day Blue-Light Special with extra onions and 50% off Ky punching puppets. Robo Ky ate yummy jumping beans and danced on yucky sleeping beans which backfired and gave him Robo-Diarrhea. He needed Maylax but instead got Viagra to stimulate certain mechanical functions that led to Nuclear Meltdown Mode.   
  
Thus, everyone decided to scream like Zyprexa-deprived schizophrenics so that Dizzy would rule the Xenex munchkins for all eternity. Suddenly a toilet spoke to Zappa. Zappa was confused, so he died. Chipp Zanuff cried, so Bridget hugged the Tylenol spokeswoman, while jumping for seeds to grow zombies and doped munchkins.   
  
Kliff preferred chocolate and pure lithium, which caused Justice to fart uncontrollably, creating new, wet hash browns amazing even Axl who showed off by pulling out a "Readers' Digest" which attracted a Killer Bee swarm led by Megumi and Rumiko Takahashi. Axl fell at seeing Baiken stripping. She took out a sapphire hair pin and stabbed him repeatedly with teddy bears.   
  
"Look out!" cried Action Figure Chipp who then lost his spare battery and fell on rejected Venom dolls until he was found by Raven, who sold him. Then they cried until Testament came with potato salad for the whole group. But then someone threw up. Anji had eaten some grotesque hairy mothball. "Hey, what the hell is this hairy mothball!!" shouted caffeinated Chipp. Testament then said, "Zanuff, no stoning!"   
  
However, Raven plotted a Prednisone coup. "No way!" shouted a random character who sold tickets to Faust porn and candied yams made by Jam whose lesbian girlfriend is Baiken, and they do kinky stuff in bed. Anji looked totally constipated.   
  
But then someone imitated Elvis, crying and screaming "Kill Elvis now!" But nobody ate chocolate filling off of Jam's Chinese fortune cookie fried chicken rice made by dwarves who were Gears created by the sexiest man alive, Bridget. This proved that being transsexual does pay: with his life, as he died, screaming corny lines like "Yum! Corn!"   
  
Then lightning struck Zappa's big toe, making it self aware and smelling like teen spirit in blue blazing saddles while singing the Alphabet song to Jam's feet under a coconut tree. Jam bashed the pinata to reveal Testament and Dizzy eating the candy with a hint of fresh oregano and lemon juice. Jam licked Dizzy's cheek, upsetting Baiken and Chipp's moms, who passed on to the place where everyone goes to sleep in with no pants, and lived happily ever after with a bag of trojan condoms for Bridget's butt infected with hemorrhoids Potemkin gave him.   
  
Coconuts fell from a remote controlled cyber ninja dude's only weak spot, which was his heads, shoulders, knees, and toes, eyes exposed to the sunlight of Jupiter's third sun, killing Jam and inconveniencing several others, like the president, who coincidentally was Mr. T's stepdaughter. Mr. T was raping a chipmunk, and then some squirrels bit him, giving him super powers. The president declared herself Squirrel Man's daughter, winning Zappa's heart. They got married, creating a race of squirrel-demons that eat wings, which scared Dizzy, making Necro angry.   
  
Suddenly Daisuke said "No more GG because Sol isn't me, I'm just hired help for May Ship Maintenance and the IRS, which people hate. They fired me because I eat bagels, the purest evil of all evils excluding Sol's ducky and his pacifier and Ky's showercap." So everyone died with foaming bubbles. Zappa refused death but Sadako ate him and choked on nitroglycerine which resulted in global warming, ending the universe, resulting in Finland's omnipotent domination of Bridget. Then a black hole sucked in everything, destroying all fanfiction writers.  
  
BIG THE END 


	3. 3 Words Petit AKA 2 Words of Guilt

Part 1  
  
Once upon a crime scene, Anji was found eating an illegal burrito and was raping Ky anally with his fans. Ky screamed in a high pitched voice: "MAY IS LIKE BRIDGET!" and died. Sol celebrated by setting the corpse on fire while declaring his ass a presidential candidate. But Chipp killed Bush so Sol took over all bases while smoking, and got lung cancer. He abruptly died.  
  
Axl went to Johnny's special place of lust and pancakes with syrup. April choked Justice's chicken, so Justice growled at Jam's panties, which ran away.  
  
Suddenly Chipp burped. It smelled like I-No so Kliff had chocolate cookies. Unfortunately the cookies were poisoned. "Green poison tastes good!" said Baiken, while dying as a result of silicon. Millia slapped Sol's butt. He farted on her, melting her clothes. Testament went stiff so Dizzy got busy with his broomstick. Testament said, "What you doing." May immediately called for divine punishment.  
  
Unfortunately Ky likes Falafels. Jam got anal-stabbed by Faust and was infected with HIV. Eddie said, "HOW COME I CAN'T BE ELVIS?" so Millia laughed hard and exploded. The world is a damned place of purple-colored skeletons doing the thing which Sol liked: Sausage with blood and pancakes.  
  
Meanwhile, Baiken killed Anji for having magic beans of mystical snow-covered revelations. Eddie ate Baiken's ass cream, so Potemkin can wear a HEAVENLYYYYYYYYY pair of SUNGLASSES!! However, crackheads pestered Chipp for more drugs. Bridget suddenly disposed of his top-secret panty collection.  
  
Slayer retrieved the missing sombrero from Mighty Axl, master of deriving oscillations with mysterious scars from Faust's scalpel. (Bruised but feeling good!) And so he and Justice sang "We're DOOMEDDDDD!!!!" by LinkinPark in Araneta, Hong Kong.  
  
Sharon, April, and Zappa were considering a group virgin sacrifice. They captured Millia, the chaste Bridget, and Dizzy, and prepared the ritual, withdrawing knives from the kitchen sink. But Dizzy killed Daisuke! The world of Guilty Gear collapsed, creating blue bubbles which affected hormones, killing everyone with pleasure.  
  
THE END.  
  
---  
  
Part 2  
  
Zio made hot tea with spicy lemon seeds for that upset stomach of Potemkin. He thanked Zio for the hot summer days of sex on K2. Unfortunately Potemkin was scorned for eating forbidden fruits from Bridget's lower region.  
  
Roger smacked Jam's ass softly. Justice said, "Spank Dizzy hard." "YES SIR!" screamed Bridget with a psychotic grin. Unfortunately, Dizzy didn't enjoy it, and killed him for money given by That Man.  
  
Axl was found guilty of violating Rule #1 of Bob, better known as Bob, which made everyone confused, increasing suicides among humans like May who deliberately took Johnny with her. So April mourned her dead hamster which was murdered by Slayer's pet, a mosquito named Nosferatu. Everyone danced to discomatic national anthems.  
  
Bridget revolted but nobody cared enough to breath clean oxygen, causing malfunctions to Roger, who went haywire and destroyed Duo's home-cooked meal which contained Zechs' antidepressants to rule Zeppian dominatrixes for a really long period of abstinance which was completely unbearable, so That Man sliced off Potemkin's headband with rusty scissorhands like Edward (AKA Bob), who was mean to I-No.  
  
Sol was depressed, so he spared Testament and Ky from bankrupcy. Unfortunately Eddie raided Knox and said "All gold kicks ass. Baiken's ass that is." May agreed that Robo-Ky is sexy, so they undressed each other. Unfortunately he wasn't programmed to undress ugly women like I-No and Zappa, so he and May danced in Adam's costume but tripped into position to eat like pigs. Suddenly, something took May to Wonderland and left. Robo-Ky kept following the dance patterns of Michael the Ninja, leading to Kuala Lumpur where Robo-Ky started drooling over nude cacti.  
  
Meanwhile, chickens rallied against evil Dizzy clones but they too were all killed by the Watashi Saikyo!!! Fanny said, "Zato's dead, so what is he, a corpse?" "No," Sharon replied. "He's just dead... just dead..."  
  
Everyone sang Hot Limit for Venom, who was not impressed by the false singing, Ritalin-drinking monkeys. Actually, dolphins were invoked to destroy Aoi Shoudou. Bridget ate smile.dk's hash browns. They had butterflies for dessert and shook endoplasmic reticuli for emergency rations, but ducks flooded the streets in protest. They wanted free tickets for I-No's ROCK PERFORMANCE (sponsored by Konami and Capcom). Everyone jammed and tomatoes killed them.  
  
Marinara was strewn about the golden river of sublime joy, which was enjoyed by Raccoon Lady, Dizzy Badgirl and Teknoman, until Sol launched nukes, causing rifts in time going back to the 1970's where hippies were Axl's ancestors. They danced with Kliff happily over Justice's corpse, which smelled like chocolate. Rainbows appeared out of Kliff's head when he smoked the lightning!  
Raven started to shoot at Sol. Defenseless, Sol said, "GUNDAM WING ROCKS YOU!!" Terry Bogard is from SNK. He died. April used "BURN KNUCKLE" on Robo-Ky but damage was minimal. She was exterminated by the May Crew, who threw her corpse on I-No's guitar coffin, activating a death trap in Ky's brain, which resulted in everyone's death within 500 seconds. They started counting sheep, so Dizzy felt sleepy. But she got no rest because 500 plagues occured, killing her and slowly killing everyone non-human, so Sol celebrated his own death by shouting "ABUGADOOO MIGAAA!!!!!!" as he burnt alive. Something exploded.  
  
"DUH, KY! HOW I EAT THIS?"  
  
"WITH ROGER, THAT'S HOW."  
  
Then Venom lost his pool cue, so he has balls. He juggled for quite a while, then Zappa bit him, giving him strange rabies and causing Canada to melt. He was honored by penguins and President Bush. Unfortunately Zio won at rock-paper-scissors, and his soul was destroyed, devoured, and killed. So was Daisuke, who said, "Me dead?" People exploded reading this and so you die just like Zato-One did. Very soon...  
  
GG was disappearing as Daisuke vanished into the black hole and was crushed by cheese globules, causing an eclipse, blinding Zato again and confusing Millia who was blinded by Venom's unparalleled beauty. She got dancing fever because of nachos. Raven decided toilets are for wimps and wore diapers instead. Furious, I-No melted Antartica with butter!! A supernova wiped Earth off the map permanently.  
  
BAD END! 


	4. 3 Words of Guilt with a Vengeance

Anji was drinking pink monkey urine and loving it! "Hey, I want more, GALLONS MORE!!!" Oreos on cold baboon asses covered in chocolate attracted Kliff for some hot chocolate action.  
  
Chipp had the Holy Zen Grail which held Strawberries that could cure I-No's lesbian sex addiction. So Slayer intercepted Chipp's divine treasure: LOTS OF CRACK!! Whoops, wrong treasure. He actually meant to steal the porno mags with Bridget's bisexual orgy from hell.  
  
Potemkin wanted some heavy Jam/Dizzy tribadism, so he died. Justice declared, "I LOVE YOU SOL!!" But Slayer objected, embracing Justice passionately. Justice rejected Slayer, who was never seen again.  
  
Sharon said, "Baiken is like a subtle unstoppable massacre machine!!" and hugged Sol's stiff hairy teddybear, causing enormous explosions of noxious gas throughout the world. First London melted, so everyone cheered until the gas killed them.  
  
Luckily Bridget survived, starting the new generation of womanly men and evil monkeys for reproduction purposes, creating an uberspecies that made Gears obsolete. So Testament finally removed humanity from the DDR machine. However, their addiction was so complete that not dancing was emblematic of psychosis, causing brain malfunctions that killed thousands of DDR addicts and damaged the ozone layer (as opposed to pink fuzzy bunnies).  
  
Zappa suddenly shrieked as April fingered Kliff's chocolate cookies. Johnny took Zoloft every time Sazuman choked on baked beans. In the ghetto, where Roger's law rules over everything, Roger's da man. Baiken slashed Sol for not revealing Roger's true master plan to blindly hump everyone within a candy-coated purple Corvette.  
  
Meanwhile, Roger hired several slaves to carry out his furniture. Robo-Ky immediately buzzed Dullahan for some steamy hot chocolate cocoa gingerbread man cookies. I-No smoked weed, but Chipp wanted to eat meat fried in THC served on Millia. He died painfully in acid. Alas, poor sausage: he tasted good with cloudberry jam.  
  
A strawberry fell on Bridget's mechanical madman, Roger, causing bizarre transformations: robots in disguise turned into Robo-Ky's own clothing line. Robo-Ky is actually the fashion award winner of 6094527830945980 contests!!  
  
Johnny only wears boxer shorts, so a tent appeared with the fat Potemkin in it. Potemkin ate Johnny-shaped chocolate cookies and died. Baiken buried him in Testament's ass, causing a bloody fart which destroyed Russia, along with comrade Zappa and Millia. Anji was only paralyzed from his waist to his toes. Baiken laughed, but Testament had farted in Chipp's face. Dizzy blamed Baiken and everyone was happy. Except Baiken, of course, but since Kenshin is really Slayer, so is Baiken.  
  
Slayer bit himself and became Baiken/Kenshin but he already killed Baiken so he was dead. Suddenly he was reincarnated as Jam's panties. The lucky bastard lived happily until Jam started menstruating. Then Sol burned her panties, and they all died. Those Ky impersonators died too.  
  
Fortunately, Roger's cyborg race was actually made from dead human tissue which rotten to form cyborg parts... SMELLY cyborg parts. Roger became God, so Sol didn't. Roger said, "BITE" but Sharon kissed him instead. Then Ky God Installed Eddie, so he went to level 3 and kissed Axl. Unfortunately Megumi saw it and joined in with a chainsaw, saying, "MAGIC TRICK GONE HORRIBLY WRONG!!" so they all ate Kliff's cookies and accidentally cut off their limbs with Roger, the happy chainsaw bear, and Bridget, the person of undescribable cuteness. I-No raped their sawn-off limbs until climax.  
  
Behold: the evil power hath risen from Faust's paper bag!!  
  
Zombies invaded Mexico, courtesy of Roger amd Justice. Waffles are nuclear weapons imbued with w00tastic pineapples. Luckily Dizzy was getting off at the next waffle storage station with Testament, so the humans ph33red stock market crashes and WRONG DEBT. Now Roger controlled heaven's wrath, but it wasn't enough. "QUAKE WITH FEAR!" said Roger, but everyone was dead, so nobody quaked. Roger revived everyone and died slowly and emphatically.  
  
The moral of the story is: "Don't be Roger or harm Mr. T and Whizzle! THE WORLD IS EVIL, so let's boogie!!"  
  
We chase Solo down the waterfront: HAN Solo!! Now 3 times as fat as usual, he ate cake with Potemkin in exchange for bondage. Happy to help eat more chicken just like Jam, Han became fatter, and Faust's afro killed him. Nobody liked Faust now, because Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2 are lame and 4-6 without James Earl Jones totally suck. Thus, Darth Raven existed only as I-No's third psychotic personality. I-No exploded, resulting in May becoming ultra-sexy.  
  
Ky drooled over delicious catfood, angering cats everywhere. Their hero challenged him to a catfight with pillows. But Robo-Ky decided to barbecue Ky and Dizzy. So he was executed with a guillotine and covered with ketchup. Everyone laughed, but Dizzy was also decapitated, so they cloned Bridget for donor cells to reconnect the millenium bug and destroy the creator of teletubbies.  
  
Millia celebrated when catgirls kissed each of Zappa's mukades. Zappa chugged Zocor which tasted as nasty as Kliff's ice cream. Kliff was sad, so his ice cream melted. Zappa wasn't responsible, but he licked it up, invoking Kliff's anger. Johnny said, "What do you mean bean machine?"  
  
Unfortunately, when you say Roger is gray you will become a deranged psychotic, just like that, and that's the evil plan made by Roger. Roger is one evil mastermind, YEAH!!!  
  
Roger and Robo-Ky fought over Sharon. They decided that she would be shared by both. Then Slayer returned and died painfully after Sharon's tubular banana massage.  
  
Suddenly, evil monkeys married Millia Rage and proclaimed the monkey hair parasite as the one to rule all. But it was born dead, so the plan failed. Everyone was happy being ruled by Roger, except Bridget, who was electrocuted by electricity, blacking out Asia.  
  
Venom's pool stick was a lightning rod, so he imitated the chicken-hawk of Chrono Cross. "Looking good," said Faust, "but an afro makes you irresistible." So he used the forbidden afro bomb, and everyone got giant multicolored afros: like real afros, but more so: they were hair!  
  
Daisuke felt tired pain every inch because of his terminal disease that killed him. He took Guilty Gear to heaven with mango mango juice. Unfortunately God wasn't allowing Daisuke entry. Daisuke said, "I go to hell?" God said, "No, you are fake plastic." Daisuke kicked God in the face and yelled, "I'm a BADGUY!" God was bleeding, and Dizzy was breeding with Testament despite carrying Axl's lovechild.  
  
Then everything exploded, resulting in the death of everyone. But somehow, Testament was dancing on everyone's graves when green pumpkins from Phyrexia casted Necromancy and zombies rose from former GG games: Justice and Kliff, who were summoned by the Pumpkin Master (hired by Roger). Zombie Justice destroyed a Dizzy plushie, angering many fans, and then took off to Mars while singing, "Hey, hey Macho Man, I WANT PANCAKES!!" In return, Dizzy destroyed the universe.  
  
THE END. 


	5. 3 Words of Guilt REBORN

I-No was happy that Faust agreed to throw the javelin with Robo-Ky, who was drinking Jam's urine, causing spontaneous bowel movement in many people. Jam screamed loudly: "I LOVE VENOM'S TEQUILA MARGARINE AND GORGEOUS HAIR!!" Then she flew to the land of obsessed Dizzy fans and Jam-spankers: GameFAQs.  
  
Sol tried escaping but cosplayers attacked and dragged him away, stealing his Fireseal. Ebay auction: Buy Dizzy for one cent and get plastered for eternity. But it got sniped at Roger's evil lair where I-No subsequently axed Axl with blunt scissors. Half-dead Axl called out to Jesus, dreadful bio-android and supreme universal ruler.  
  
Unfortunately, Bridget had overthrown Roger's regime and established flower sentinels throughout the metropolis. Avocados shook Robo-Ky until his guts danced on a fat lady and smeared Sol with peanut butter and jelly. Ky licked it off with abrasive passion, but then realized it was actually poison!!  
  
Suddenly, Sol exploded because Stone Cold wet Zato's empty bed, which reeked of urine and poo: frequently despised, yet often eaten by Eddie, the despicable Christmas demon, who bakes fruitcakes. Slayer likes those for dinner. Unfortunately, Zappa added too much garlic, and vampires cannot resist Italian spice. So Slayer devoured everything blue, making the world yellow.  
  
Suddenly, Justice replaced Sol as chief cosplayer. Here comes Millia! Bobbing down, up, and spinning about! Do the neckbreaker!  
  
Zappa won the contest by doing a triple! However Chipp dared for a twentyfold, so Baiken went all-out and played Twister with lemons. 17, 18, 19, 2000! Victory was at hand but Roger had other ideas about Baiken's special filling, so the trophy was a bomb, which was set to explode and kill Ky, Sol, and all dogs, so it would happen in one month.  
  
One month later, Galamoth came and promoted Castlevania: NITM, the trilogy of The Turtles and Contra, King Konami! The Shattered Soldier of everything else that isn't desperately Venom.  
  
Zato mentioned it to the press, and bolted a daring statement to uphold the one and only tomato salad, so a new generation of GG fans for assassination purposes and plushie invasion created the ultimate TV. Pillow fights to the death were organized. Contenders like Kizuato have fought to the graveyard 'til morning, as the sun cries.  
  
Anji opened his fans to please Axl. However, Chipp wasn't far from view at Cavana, so Anji kept fanning the BBQ grill to please Axl until one fateful afternoon, when S-Ko was having PMS and screamed "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE" while getting screwed by MJ, the master shakesman, doing his moonwalk while grabbing crotches like Kliff's. Unfortunately Fahrenheit isn't the correct answer.  
  
Thus, the battle started again and again: Zappa and S-Ko argued until Anji was sacrificed to Zio as a cucumber salad, with funky beans a la Dizzy. Testament got a new poncho. However, Potemkin bought it first to disguise himself and fool the masses into thinking Millia owns pink lipstick factories of Henry Buhgger.  
  
Candidly Camera is canned soup. Axl decided to taste it, so he jumped in it naked while Jam was admiring his body, especially his amazing mutation: a 6th finger on every flute was smoking! Impossible!! She exploded.  
  
Then Darius the Potemkin Yaoi Fan decided to make his Pokemon kill the fantabulously extravagant Pikachu. But suddenly Bridget was incarcerated, so his action was to take foreclosures, and Sago was his mentor for no apparent reason.  
  
Millia was sick, so she prayed for a million dollars. Faust appeared on the other side of her restaurant. "Buh-bye," said Sol to the Deffer on the Mysterious Giant X-Platform of Anal Stabbage.  
  
May was responsible, so she was crucified on a stake and burnt for Johnny as a Christmas present. He got her ashes for Anji's butterfly makeup. "WHERE'S MY SAMURAI?" asked Johnny the DDR maniac.  
  
Suddenly, Battousai asked Baiken for 2-player mode in Shinobi PS2, and finished Super mode with no hands! Raven felt stupid, because that guy over there danced frivolously with Dizzy and Undine while Necro pleasured red wine flavored red wine. Thunderbolts from Zeus emanated from the grim sky of horror!!  
  
Justice Destroyed random people for randomness' sake. Roger watched, sadistically eating olives and enjoying metal bikinis. But Phase 2 begins!  
  
Axl declared his impossible-to-fail plan of macaroni and Swiss cheese of DOOM! Then someone died. "Who will eat it?" Ky happily volunteered to sock Millia with a sock that belonged to the feet of stinky Chipp, whose smell was legendary for socking Millia: and so it happened. So he took off his socks and threw them in the face of Millia Avenger, sister of the Holy Order officer Ky Kiske.  
  
Robo-Kuro-Ky decided to get the thingamajig which kills people, but fishing rods were on the scene of wading ducks. In other news, fries are on hold due to Ky's diabolical gerbil destruction. But his big plan was in fact an opinion. "Drop potatoes dog!" was understandable from Ky's butterfly.  
  
Veridian shapes were Daisuke's favorite things to insert coins in. Slayer justified that ermine, thus Sol became supreme bacon officer. Now, Sol Wienerguy slurps Potemkin's infamous living dolphin soup of poetic horror!  
  
Bridget had enough of I-No's disgusting toe-clipping methods and decided to silence her forever. But she was onto him and took his junk emails and left him crippled for celibacy. Fruit tastes good. Suddenly, facism suits Ky.  
  
Bridget died and was reborn as Wendigo's slave. Set, game, and match! Quiet on the outfront, so Chipp ran around screaming "BAGELS!!", scaring many rabbits, who were hiding their bagel bags from the deranged fried eggplants of Mister Diabolical: Raven.  
  
Testament said, "I, pain reliever." CD, then comes EF UDGE chocolate sundaes, an omen to Testament's uber-stink. "Fortunately there's still hope for me," said Sol, crying for Zato, who then ate him for unknown reasons. Meanwhile, Ky died while singing the lima bean song.  
  
Millions of dolphins died from heat exasperation and returned as super sumos!! However, they licked Dizzy for just desserts. Testament said, "I need shampoo." So he didn't. Anji pots the plant.  
  
Axl rotted the blue grass generation, and left for right. The purple haze maze became purple. "What's the deal?" asked Baiken.  
  
Luckily, cheese fell from the moons into the suns of the empire known as Wu-shu, the Magic Dragon, who spat fire on Daisuke, who was arrogant. Beans magically killed Garudo the mighty. "Don't take him personally," said the eunuch boy Bridget, who was playing with his mighty stick of wonderful chocolate-tasting flavors that enticed Kliff.  
  
Sadly, green hedgehogs are on the verge of extinction, so Slayer admitted that it was his idea to unify the East Pacific with spoiled pomegranates. Then, it was accomplished! Thanks to Baiken's super power: the ssdertwert!! Every Desas Is Sad. "YES MY LIEGE" was said by Bob Marley.  
  
The sparrows then ended this: Heartbeats now cost as much as $500 per minute. "Holy cow!" thought Tom Petty now: so it all began in Lumbordioa.  
  
Suddenly cheese globules began to rise. Pizza is for turtles. Garuda Mansion was invisible! Mai is buxom. Then, you explode!! The fuse was a ruse! Now, we can end this fic by shooting everyone!!  
  
*everyone is shot*  
  
Now they're all dead!! Funeral services were too expensive, so they were burned by insane Garoad of Deeysee, whoever that is.  
  
ANOTHER BAD END!! 


End file.
